Faith « The Rohr Family

A star is born

I usually decorate the pine tree in the front yard like a candy cane, but this time I wanted to do something more meaningful.

I thought an eight foot star of David sixty feet in the air would be sweet.

Happy Birthday my King.

Written on December 5th, 2008 , Faith

This is what happens at church when PaPa shows up

The view from behind the microphone is almost always the best view in the house.

Written on December 4th, 2008 , Faith, Supernatural

Just try it.

God loves you.

He really, really loves you.

How do I know this? Because He keeps telling me. To the point of distraction. That He loves -

You.

In fact, He shouts it so loudly that most days it is all I can do to function normally – whatever that is.

I am not being melodramatic here, even though I am prone to it, He really, really loves you and I need you to know it.

I wish I was better at conveying the love He has for you, but most days I forget myself. I strive and I work and I push and I, well I just don’t remember who I am. It is easy to forget who we are. Life has a way of poking holes in us and draining us until all that is left is an anemic shell moving out of momentum and not purpose.

I know the shell, I have lived in the shell for much of my life.

The thing is, that’s not real life! That’s not even life when you get down to it, that is just, well, it is just sad and was never part of the plan.

The plan was family.

The plan was children.

The plan was fellowship.

The plan was love.

You know what? That is still the plan.

And it starts with a simple understanding that God is Daddy. God is Pa Pa. God is Father. God is really, really happy with you and really, really loves you because it is all He talks about.

All He talks about is You!

With your faults, regrets, fear, pain and bitterness. Your love and fear, good and bad and all you do that is wrong. Your anger and selflessness, jealousy and kindness and all you do that is right. He hears you when you laugh, sees you when you cry, and tenderly holds you when you are broken because he is your Daddy.

You are His Son.

You are His Daughter.

And as His child, there is nothing you can do to make Him love you any more, or any less.

So just for today, stop and hold out your hands and ask Him to show you. Just do it, don’t talk yourself out of it, right now as you read this, ask Pa Pa to speak to you. Ask Daddy to tell you what He tells me.

About you.

Please, just try it.

For me.

Written on November 18th, 2008 , Faith Tags: Pa Pa

Being true

Do you ever get the feeling you are living a lie, or at best a fib?

Do you catch yourself looking in the mirror in the middle of the night when the chaos of the day has drained and all that is left is you?

Just you.

Linger there if you find yourself looking with open eyes and open heart and silent mind.

Linger there and look deep and don’t be afraid of what you will find because in that moment you are likely to discover something valuable.

If you stare long enough, push past the exterior arguments of all that is not right, all that should be changed, all that has been damaged, eventually you will discover something true.

You have always been, and you will always be – you.

In that moment of nakedness, of honesty, of courage, fight the urge to argue. Fight the urge to proclaim. Fight the urge to run and hide. In that moment of being fully aware of the wonder of you, know that no matter the evidence, no matter the argument, no matter the experience, there is value simply because you are.

Not because you do, because you are.

That moment, every moment, is the sum total of all that have come before. All the hopes and dreams, fears and terror, faith and despair, is summed up in you and that mirror. The past and future intersect at the back of the glass and what is reflected back is the best of all who have lived before.

Sit, wait, embrace, and love what you see, as it is all we have.

The moment.

This moment.

This life.

This experience.

It is all we have, and we are the amazing result of all the hopes and dreams of all that have come before.

This is your life, are you who you want to be?

Written on October 28th, 2008 , Everyday Life, Faith

Church

“Hi beautiful!”

“I love it when you call me that Da Da.”

“Are you ready to go for a ride?”

“I love rides Da Da – where are we going?”

“To church”

It went something like that. :)

We visited Saint Luke’s Episcopal Church in Smithfield yesterday afternoon on a glorious fall day in Southern Virginia. We decided to take a short day trip becuase the weather was so nice and I was compelled to visit this old church.

I had been to this historic landmark before, in June of 2006, the year we lost our pregnancy and the year I hit bottom.

I had spent almost a week away by myself at a retreat center just down the road on the banks of the James River “trying to figure it out”. I was a little bit of a mess that summer. So much came crashing down in my life I decided it would be best to purposely dismantle the rest on my own.

It was a difficult time coming to terms with the loss of our baby, the effects of growing up in an alcoholic home, and the mess I had made in my own life because of it. As gut wrenching as it was to realize my role in all of the pain in my life and others around me, it was also a wonderful time with just me and my God. I let Him know what I thought about things and He let me know He was there. Stopping by this old church on the way back home from my retreat seemed the perfect place to transition back into reality. I wasn’t sure how I ended up there, but had the unmistakable sense that God was in it.

I guess that is the role of the church – to be a doorway to and from reality.

A place where heaven and earth mix, a place where truth and lies are set before you as clear as black and white.

A place where what is real and what might have been collide, sometimes with spectacular results. A place where you learn to trust that even though life is hard, you may screw things up with the ones you love, some things hold true.