The Rohr Family

Not that – get your mind out of the gutter people!

This week has given me plenty of time to think about my life and more importantly the person I am when pressed. It has been good, unwelcome, but a good experience none the less as I have discovered there is way too much left for me to accomplish this side of the veil to ever be on bed rest again.

Lessons learned

1) Listen to your body. It loves you, it wants you to be healthy, it will kick your but if you don’t.

2) Drink more water. You live in America for heavens sake and peeing feels good.

3) Exercising and strengthening your core, no matter how boring, is much more interesting than lying down against your will wondering if you will ever walk again.

4) Facebook, although captivating, is a terrible substitute for not being able to hold your kid.

5) Second chances are a gift and one that should always be opened.

6) Appreciate everything, even expensive bumpy ambulance rides you have no way to afford, you got to live to write about it.

7) Live in the moment, you may discover you have the ability to make people laugh even when you feel like crying.

And finally:

Remember you have the most amazing wife, children, friends and family around you and your life’s work is to never give them reason to doubt it.

David Health

Today is day one of a ten to forty day detox.

I am doing the Master Cleanser or Lemonade Diet and it really isn’t a diet as much as it is a detox, but saying detox confuses people, so I will call it a diet.

Here is a good video I found that explains the detox:

I have done detoxes before, but this is the first real extended one I will do. Christmas time is probably not the best time to stop eating… actually, it is the perfect time to stop!

I will let you know how it goes!

David Health

wins the race.

I have reached my goal of walking and praying three days this week for an hour at a time.

It was 29 degrees this morning when I started out – but I would not be denied. The temperature dropped all week which made me all the more determined to show myself faithful.

I am not being legalistic about this, I have done that thank your very little, I am actually being quite selfish. My prayer as I walk along the road to “our field” is that God bless me. I want nothing more.

Why?

Because I need it.
God impacted me in such a powerful way last week that it is all I can think about. I guess you could call me a spiritual junkie. I am hooked on His presence and I am willing to do whatever it takes to please Him. Even if I never receive another impartation like the one I experienced on the floor of my church, I just want to please Him.

He is pursuing me, and I think He likes the chase.

The funny thing about all of this is it has taken so little effort on my part. Sure, I have pulled myself out of my warm bed but its more like getting up for Christmas than getting up for the dentist. I guess if I could compare this week to anything it would be like the first week of dating. I have been on my best behavior, worked really hard at anticipating, gone the extra mile, basically presented myself in the best possible light in hopes that my date is impressed.

I am selling myself.

The strange thing about this type of behavior in me is that my date has already bought me. I don’t have to get up and walk in the cold, there is nothing I can do to make Him want me more, love me more, accept me more, sing over me louder, because He is already hopelessly and madly in love with me. I am dating someone that has already said yes in the most dramatic and public of ways and yet He pursues me.

Me!

He greets me each morning like I am the only one getting up and playing hide and go seek in the cold with the God of the universe. He tells me that He loves me like it is the first time He has ever uttered the words. I ravage His heart, not by great words or beautifully sung songs or prose or strong arms, but by simply glancing His way. He is undone by me. The builder of galaxies is undone by me.

I love our mornings together in the cold.

In the stillness of the morning, when I stop to listen, He tells me about the rest of his children. He tells me about you, with passion that burns in my chest and brings me to my knees, He tells me about His extravagant love for you.

He wants you to come out and play, Jesus is pursuing you, and I think He likes the chase.

David Everyday Life, Faith, Health

I have reached the age where walking is exercise. I am not real happy about that, but I have decided to embrace almost forty with the reckless abandon of a thirty eight year old.

I wanted to be a forty year old runner. I tried to make it happen last summer and although my heart and lungs were up to the task, my knees and ankles started a mutiny. I was able to regain control after a two week rest but they had formed an unholy alliance with arches, left hip, right ankle and had also successfully lobbied sciatica just to drive the point home.

“Davie no run – we no like six foot two, two hundred fifty pounding – no matter how sexy.”

I gave in like a second grader being pressured by fourth grader for the only swing on the playground.

Winter arrived and everyone was happy with the new Davie. Even Davie was happy for a while until heart and lungs convinced brain that stomach was out of control. Brain recalled Atkins, which immediately got the attention of bowels and prostate. They in turn convinced taste buds and emotions that going down that road again could mean the end of bread.

The reality of losing bread shattered all alliances, Davie like bread.

Once I had the attention of everyone we reasoned together that the best plan was to walk. Legs reminded me that at any point they could call on knees and feet, and since they are the last to get bread, they could live with Atkins just fine thank you. Brain agreed to keep heart and lungs in check for legs if legs promised to get stomach out of bed and into cold.

All that was left was to convince pride that walking was just as sexy as running. In a stunning move, eyes locked onto gut in the mirror.

No one wanted to see that.

Gut was a little chilly and jiggly today on the first walk, but everyone was determined to make him less of an influence in this alliance, no matter what the cost.

David Health

Time is an amazing thing.

I remember taking this picture almost 2 years ago walking the shores of the James River trying to make sense of the events of the previous months.

None could be found as life does not reveal secrets because I insist on knowing.

Where we find ourselves is of little concern compared to where we go from there.

And the truth that has been reveled is that no matter the outcome, mo matter the road feet find themselves treading, no matter the heights of joy or depths of sorrow this one thing remains.

We are never alone.

David Health

I live in peanut country.

They have many other names like goober pea, monkey nut, groundnut, and earthnut.

I call them “eat me and have the worst night sleep of your life.”

I have been acutely aware that goobers and I have not been getting along lately, but confirmed last night the monkey nut wants to kill me. I remember suffering from sleep apnea last night. It has not been a problem for a while, but last night was a bad night. My wife screaming at the top of her lungs at 2 AM didn’t help matters either.

It doesn’t happen often, but every once in a while my sweetie will start screaming in her sleep. There is nothing worse than waking up that way. A close second is when our kids stand at the side of the bed and stare us to consciousness. We have since told them to knock on the door, as waking up to a ghostly shape in front of you is really mean even if you think you are being polite.

Last nights scream didn’t even sound like my wife, it was very high and very shrill and thankfully very short. There are some nights that I have to wake her up out of her dream but last night she woke herself up after one yelp. I asked her what happened, but she had no clue. Perhaps she has a form of nighttime tourettes.

The bigger issue for me was once I was awake it felt as if my throat was closing in on itself. When this happens to me it makes it increasingly difficult to breath. For the next few hours I would fall asleep and wake up. I wasn’t gasping for air, but I could tell my oxygen level was not good.

Needless to say I woke up this morning with a headache and feeling like I had been hit by a truck. It dawned on me that I had eaten a fair share of earthnuts the night before and suddenly remembered “hey you are allergic to legumes”!?

I can hardly wait for the bowel cramping.

I figure my wife’s screaming last night was God’s way of waking me up before I suffocated in my own histamines.

No more groundnut for this boy.

David Health

Alcoholics like me.

Homosexuals like me as well, but I will tackle that in another post.

I have a knack for attracting people that have been affected by alcohol. They are either actively drinking, recovered, are married to someone that has, or on the road to or from. Every one of my neighbors are alcoholics. There is actually a bar across the street from my house. This bar is in the garage of my neighbor.

How weird is that.

Most of my coworkers are alcoholics. I have witnessed much in my 10 years here. The big gifts at the Christmas party have always been booze. Crown Royal is apparently a really thoughtful way of saying “Happy Birthday Jesus”.

So it comes as no shock to me that my guitar player on my worship team at church is an alcoholic. Much to the chagrin of my friends, his behavior is neither threatening or obnoxious to me. It is familiar and vulnerable, and my heart simply breaks for the condition he is in.

No one wants to become an alcoholic.

It took me years to get to the point where I could believe that and I believe it with all that is in me. Alcoholism is a disease and I would never harass a cancer victim for having a bad day. Alcoholics usually offend people when they are hurting, so it makes it difficult to be objective when they are spewing their insecurity and hurt. It takes a great deal of discipline not to react emotionally, but when it all lines up and the alcoholic has been heard real change can happen.

People make the mistake thinking that by telling the alcoholic all about their sins, that will somehow snap them out of their slow suicide. As if their killing themselves is a result of their life being one great big party. No one needs to tell the drinker or drug addict their failings, it is usually all they can see. The only way to help the alcoholic is to love them where they are at, not enable them in their negative behavior, and live your own life. If they choose to be nasty, we get to choose to leave. If they are hurtful and angry, we walk away and talk to them when they are sober.

One of the last places on earth that this type of acceptance happens in the church.

My guitar player has arrived hung over 2 Sundays and this last week he reacted and caused a minor disruption. It was not a huge problem, but the confrontation from the platform directed to the sound team was not transparent. Thankfully my friend admitted he was wrong, has remained teachable, and is the only requirement to be used by God.

I have a meeting with him tonight to talk about his drinking. I am actually looking forward to it. I am full of faith that he will be able to see my desire is for him to get better. He is hurting, and it hurts me to know that his only hope is in the bottle. My God is bigger than his problem.

My God is a God who saves.

David Faith, Health

These things just beg to be eaten. Anything that ugly, that stupid, and with that much tasty meat can only have been designed for one purpose.

Digestion.

It looks like the head on these hideous creatures has already been partially chewed just to bring home the point.

They are so completely divorced from intelligence, eating them actually sets up lethargy in the carnivore. A few grams of tryptothane can render most males helpless after dinner. Imagine the effect this chemical must have on the bird. No wonder turkeys walk around mouths gaping open.

I have noticed that females seem immune to tryptothane. Dishes get done, food put away, pie served, and kids herded outside all by the end of the first quarter of the Detroit game. It is amazing, and further study is in order.

Tis the season for turkey. Time to get all sugared up and wait in line to buy stuff I don’t really need, but at that price suddenly find one. Time to shake of restraint and gear up for parties and hot cocoa and dipped salty stuff. Time to bring out the fat clothes and pack on a few pounds just in case global warming is all wrong and we have 9 months of winter.

After all there are only 29 more shopping days left until Christmas. So much turkey – so little time.

David Health, Humor