We were standing in the checkout line behind another pregnant woman who was in a wheelchair/cart thing.  She was probably at least 8 months pregnant and she was sitting in this chair, trying to get all the stuff out of the basket in front of her, which was a task, considering her belly was in the way, and considering all the stuff that was in her cart.  Then she had to reach up to the conveyor belt to put the stuff on it.  In the meantime, her son was asking for candy or something like that, complaining, as little ones do, that they want this or that.  It was then that I noticed a man standing in front of her.

He looked gangsta.  Wearing the Sean John clothes, the bling, and the shades.  I had assumed he was just the guy in front of her, but apparently, he was the significant other.  What got me was that as I stood and watched this woman struggling with her shopping, he stood and watched too.  (Granted, I could have asked her if she needed help, but I didn’t think about it at that moment.)  He didn’t lift a finger.  Just stood there and watched her struggle.  She even had to lift herself out of the wheelchair thingy to sign the receipt, so she was half standing/half sitting, pulling herself up to sign this thing.  So of course, I watch them walk out together, she putting the bags in the basket in front of her, corralling the little boy, and he walking ahead of them, doing nothing.

I don’t know why it bothered me so much, but that guy seemed to be a selfish jerk.  It made me really thankful for my wonderful husband, who doesn’t let me carry my own bags out the door, who loads the car for me and opens doors for me.  He even makes dinner when I am not up to it.  He doesn’t stand and watch me struggle with something that is difficult, he actually decides to HELP me.

I am so thankful for you, David!  I love you very much!

It was spring of 1991. I was a music major and we were getting ready to do Handel’s Messiah. I was in a relationship with some guy–(we’ll call him “Fred.”) I knew I would never marry and was wondering why on earth I was seeing him. Then I met David. He was a tenor, and I was an alto. For some strange reason, we ended up sitting right next to each other in choir–he as first chair tenor, and I as first chair alto. Right away, he made me laugh. I have no idea what he said, but he made me laugh all during practice and all that week.  I wasn’t planning on liking someone else, but he intrigued me.  He was tall, muscular, blonde and had one heck of a beautiful voice.  I loved that he could sing–and wasn’t embarrassed about singing.  Most of the guys I had met thought singing was for girly men.  Well, David certainly wasn’t a girly man.  At this point, though, I just thought he was cute.  Someone like him would never be interested in someone like me.

For a few weeks, we flirted with each other at rehearsal.  Nothing serious, and certainly not inappropriate.  I was dating someone else.   But then, one night, my sister, who was also in choir with us called me up.  She said that a bunch of them were going bowling and did I want to come?  At first, I said no.  I am a shy kind of person, and getting together with a big group is not my idea of fun.  I can’t remember how she convinced me to go, but I finally decided to go.  Little did I know, that David would be there.  Unknown to me, my sister had been trying to set us up.  She had asked David what he thought of me and he said I was cute, but he didn’t know me very well.  She asked if he would be interested in getting to know me, because, in her words, she didn’t like “Fred,” and wanted me to get out of that relationship.  So David agreed.

We had a great time bowling.  I absolutely suck at bowling.  I don’t know how many gutter balls I rolled, but we joked about it and he tried to help me to do better with his advice.  Pretty much the whole night we hung out together and by the time the evening was over, I found myself just a little smitten.  He asked me if he could hang out with me again, and I said yes.  This was nothing but a friendship, I told myself.  “Hang out” doesn’t mean the same thing as “Go out,” therefore, I rationalized, this won’t be a problem with my current situation.

Yeah right.

By the middle of the next week, he had called a couple of times and met me at the music lab, where I worked and did homework.  We goofed off on the piano and he sang his silly songs and made me laugh even more.  We talked and got to know each other and boy was he sweet, and cute and wonderful and just the best guy I had ever met?  Yeah, pretty much.  Oh now what was I going to do?   It’s not like I like to hurt people and this would involve some hurting if I decided I liked David as more than a friend.

One night at the music lab, as we were sitting on the piano bench playing around, (on the piano, mind you!) and Fred walks in.  Fred NEVER set foot in the music department, and he had NEVER come to visit me at work, so I was surprised.  I wondered why he was there.  I pretty much tried to act casual and introduced David to him.  David knew about him, but had never asked me to date him, and we hadn’t even kissed, so I guess I was still telling myself that he wasn’t interested in me that way.  We talked about nothing for a few minutes.  I said I needed to get some homework done.  David said he needed to go and Fred also left a few minutes after that.  I don’t know if he suspected anything, but when you see your girlfriend sitting closely to someone on a piano bench laughing, you probably don’t feel warm and fuzzy.  So I was left in the lab by myself.   A few minutes later, David came back and said something like, “Boy was that uncomfortable!  I thought I would come back and see how you are doing.”  He told me he had a great time and that he thought I was cute.  I told him that I liked him, but I probably needed to take care of this situation before we go anywhere with this relationship.  He completely understood.  All I wanted to do was call my boyfriend and dump him, but being the sickeningly sweet, nice, thoughtful girl I was, I wanted to spare his feelings.

The Messiah was that weekend and all the choir people were invited to Jon’s house for an after performance party, college style.  I knew David would be there, and really, I wanted to get to know him, and date him, and I really liked him!  I had to call my boyfriend.

(to be continued…)