I am not in production. I am in Information Technology. Anyone that knows anything about manufacturing knows that IT and production are on opposite sides of the spectrum. Production is the brawn, IT is the brains, and looks, and sex appeal, and giver of internet access. Production is the steak – IT is the sizzle. And neon sign, and hot waitress, and…..
Don’t hate the player – hate the game.
Because of our superior intellect and cunning, no matter what production tries to throw at IT, IT will win. IT is the glasses the business world looks through – we tell management what they see. Production may say it is black but it will only be black if the IT department agrees. In fact, if IT says it is white – it is white, even if it is as black as Dick Chaney’s oil embalmed heart.
Period.
Remember those kids you picked on in school? The nerdy sensitive ones you ridiculed to make you feel better about yourself? We run the world now sucker and log everything you do on company time. We monitor your email and know about your offshore purchases of “enhancement” drugs.
We don’t need enhancement – we are IT.
Knowledge is power and production gives away that power in mind bogglingly stupid ways.
At my place of employment I have negotiated a pretty sweet deal for myself. I am my own department and as such I am my own boss. Production hates this because their boss is the clock. I installed the clock – the clock works for me. From time to time production will try and heft its responsibility my way thinking that they have me cornered.
I feel bad for them, really I do.
Instead of taking the opportunity to step into a role that could become critical, they simply balk at learning something new and give me more responsibility. This makes them feel good by “sticking it to the IT guy” which simply compels me solve the problem faster thereby making me that much more valuable. Now that I have effectively obsoleted their role in production, it makes building a case for their removal all that much easier.
Here is a secret.
IT is on the side of the owner and production is on the side of themselves. IT realize that the money flows from the top and leaks out the bottom. Any leak that IT stops means new found money goes to IT.
Take the following picture for instance;
I ended up getting this business card job to “fix” because it originated from the website ordering forms. “Since IT was responsible for originating it, IT gets to fix it”.
Remember how I said IT doesn’t do production? In this instance I became agitated and called in the big guns.
The owner.
Here is what went down.
“Hey boss, In reviewing what needed to be changed (a single line of type moved over a fraction) I noticed there are no fewer than fourteen pieces of paper used for this one job.
For a $72.00 job.
This job originated on the internet which costs us $13.00 a day flat rate if we use it. For argument sake, lets say this was the only job ordered today, so it costs us $13.00 to have the customer send it.
This business card job arrived at our shop digitally via FTP as a press ready PDF and what do we do?
Print it out fourteen times just to get it ready to go to the press!
I looked on our MIS system and so far we have fifteen minutes in order entry + fifteen minutes in pre-press + twenty minutes in proof reading. We still have ten minutes of imposition, ten minutes of signature proofing, plating, an hour in the press room, cutting, boxing and shipping.
Our direct manufacturing rate 3 years ago was $42.00 per hour.
So far we have are looking at $97.00 in labor, and that isn’t even adding the paper, plates, laser prints, ink, and delivery.”
Owner says: “That is a problem IT man.”
“I thought you would agree sir, and might I add that shirt really brings out the color of your eyes, shall I come up with a way to fix this terrible production problem?”
IT has now made owner very happy.
Translation: production people are about to get fired and IT will get a raise.
IT Rules!
David Work
Been a while since I posted, so here is an update.
