Ever feel like your brain is ready to crumble?

There are many good things about technology but it seems there are equally as many bad things aout technology. I think the good things outweigh the bad things in results but the older I get the more the scale seems to be tipping.

With the advent of facebook and decline of actual work in America, there seems to be a never-ending list of new ways to connect, communicate, sell, annoy, stalk, and frustrate. I don’t claim to know everything that is out there but suffice it to say, the newest “must have” technologies are those designed to consolidate.

One to rule them all.

My problem with this is my livelihood depends in part with may ability to navigate the tide of social media on the web. For the most part I enjoy this as it is interesting to see how far a single post or tweet can move beyond the point of origin. The easier the better and connectivity has developed to such a high level, I dare say most people can do everything they need to by way of communication with a twitter account. That single tweet can hit an endless list of websites and feed as long as the paths to each site have been correctly created. In fact, this post can be sent to Twitter and in turn Twitter will update the rest of the world in seconds. Literally.

Most days my tweets are little more than status updates which are actually easier to send from Foursquare or Facebook. It seems everybody wants to know a few key things about me, where I am, where I went, and eventually, what I bought. Apart from that, I am really not that interesting and trying to figure out how best to present my uninteresting life has become more of my life than my actual life.

Wait, I think we just created digital schizophrenia.

The problem with digital schizophrenia is I wonder if the only way out of it is to eventually fragment the connection? Fragmentation is directly opposed to the current push of greater connectivity. What a strange world we are creating for ourselves.

No wonder I feel so out of sorts when I work on this stuff. I am creating a virtual prison where the idea of who I am is more important than the reality of what I am. Our most important online interactions today are with those who judge us by what we do not who we are.

Icky.

I just realized the price of social acceptance might be a little too high.

Written on March 1st, 2011 , Deep Thoughts, Everyday Life Tags:

I started my next painting last week after trying in vain to get the first five printed at work. I was finally able to get the printing done last night and with any luck will have everything up at the yogurt shop tomorrow.

The giclee’s didn’t turn out too bad, not as nice as I would have liked, but good considering the photographs were a little low res for the print process. Once I get my originals back I will scan them a portion at a time and see if I can get original that work better.

This experience has been interesting, sometimes frightening, sometimes exhausting, and always emotional. It’s not unlike standing in front of someone naked, in the middle of winter, after a cold shower, 100 pounds overweight, bathed in fluorescent lighting, on a stage. Honestly, it is a very vulnerable insecure self loathing critical thinking judgmental place putting ones artwork out for all the world to stare and point fingers at. It makes me really nervous and yet I am compelled to start websites like RohrFineArt.com to invite even more strangers to stare at my nakedness from the comfort of their own home.

Why do I do this to myself?

Why do I feel so repulsed yet compelled to create? Why do I stand up in front of hundreds each week and sing my heart out and get completely lost in the moment and act a fool only then to consider what I must look look like acting the fool and shudder at my vulnerability and do it all again next week? Why do I paint pictures and hang them in public spaces inviting people to be critical and then live in fear they might actually have an opinion and in response to that fear invite more people to criticize?

I have come to the conclusion that I can’t help myself.

I am fatally drawn to create by the Creator and His passion and love for me is something I can no longer control. I am being pulled along, overtaken, swept up in the swift current of this great romance and drowning in the conviction that His affection toward me is real. In that place, face to face, the reflection of me through gentle eyes is so lovely, so pure, so sweet and intoxicating I willingly let go of my last breath of self perception and inhale His.

I don’t understand it, I can’t adequately describe it, but I know it is real becuase the version of me, the idea of me, the one I find when I am caught up with Him is so not from me. I know what I think about me, I have spent a lifetime creating this visage and I know all too well the way I can detest it. My me and God’s me are quite disparate at times. My me and God’s me would not be friends most days. My me and God’s me would argue almost all the time about almost everything. My me and God’s me are worlds apart most days but my me and God’s me are getting to know each other.

I guess that might be the point of it all in the end, getting to know God’s me instead of my me.

So with fear and trepidation I drop the layers of my me and step on stages to become naked so that I can put on God’s me.

Written on April 15th, 2010 , Deep Thoughts, Faith Tags: , , , ,

The Rohr Family is proudly powered by WordPress and the Theme Adventure by Eric Schwarz
Entries (RSS) and Comments (RSS).

The Rohr Family

Blessed Beyond Measure